"Dear Diary, 

Here are some random thoughts.

I can't help but feel that it's so heartwarming whenever I see triplets' pictures. I don't know how it feels like to have sisters to stay through your side ever since the day you were born, I don't know how good it feels like to be able to do every single thing together, through the ups and downs of life. 

It warms my heart to know how these three sisters go through everything together, until one day they have to be seperated to further their studies. Even so, I feel they are still close as ever when I see their pictures. Each picture reveals more than just happiness and love. I can literally feel the bond here in Singapore, I felt their little hearts bursting into joy when they first met each other after months. My mind subconsciously puts myself into their shoe. From the moment they knew they were studying together in St Andrews,  to the moment when Daffy had to leave for Ireland, to the moment they finally got to meet each other for Christmas. The feeling when you just settled down in a foreign country, when classes started and the feeling's different of not having all three mugging together physically like the past, the feeling of encouraging each other to not give up because you guys chose this path and are destined to save others' lifes, the feeling of skyping each other, the feeling of being on the verge of giving up but taking a peek at your sisters and they have never given up so you chose not to quit either, the feeling of going through a hell week in school, the feeling of immerse stress and pressure, the feeling of home sick, the feeling of not having sushi and chinese food, the feeling of pulling through the last few weeks before Christmas, the feeling of packing up and preparing to head to London, the funny feeling you get into your stomach when you're on the way to London, the feeling of stepping into London and being an inch closer to your sibilings, the feeling when you strike big steps down the pathment and you can no longer contain your excitment, the feeling of home when you finally got to see/feel/hug your sibilings... All these thoughts run wild in my mind. I feel like home for you girls too 

I must say, you three are the most respected girls I've ever met, really. Forget about all the bitchings we did in secondary school days. I always wanted to be a boy because I thought guys see a bigger picture and can do much more things than girls would, but you three proved me wrong. You showed me that girls are equally capable, as long as you have the determination, movation and dispicline. You girls are unlike my other friends who only fret if their make up smudge or if their outfits make sense. Not saying they're stupid or whatsoever, just being completely honest  

To cut long story short, I really take my hat off you girls. YOU'RE my motivation. At least when I study alone at night, I know I'm not really alone <3

I just want to share my thoughts with you, since I don't blog anymore. I want to let you girls know, no matter how tough studying is, we will make it through and we should never give up! I love you girls and I hope y'all had a MERRY CHRISTMAS <3 Please come back next year for Christmas! 

With truckloads of love,

Beefang"

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I'm never good at words like this, but when I first saw this email that was sent to us last night in macdonalds. I just melted. I never knew our lives would motivate someone so much. I was always motivated by someone, but never did I thought we would be a motivation for some people. It wasn't easy to have a change in environment where everyone is at a different place, but deep down we knew that no matter how far we were, we are still as close as ever. The anticipation and count down to this trip was actually almost killing me. That sight of the doppelganger in the tube station waiting for me, amazing feeling :) Christmas was different. A few hiccups but it was still as awesome as ever. If I could turn back time again, I would repeat this. I'm bad at expressing my emotions, but thank you beefang, for making me think back on everything that has happened and letting me appreciate things a little more. I love you girls.

Merry Christmas.

It's only 2 more days and I'll get to see my doppelgangers. I'm in the worst state of homesickness now. The anxiety and excitement of going down is making me miss home even more. I wish these 2 days pass by quickly. And finally have Christmas with the people who I love. :) I'm jealous for all my friends that will be going back today or over the next few days or have already left for home. First Christmas away from home is going to be hard. :(

May you rest in peace.

Dear Ms Angeline Cheong.

I was absolutely devastated once I heard the news about you. It came too sudden, it came too soon. You were such a good teacher, that believed in all of us, the entire class that we were able to excel well in our studies. You never once did gave up on us, and constantly supported us throughout our first year of IB. I remembered the last few weeks or days that you taught us. You said you lost your voice, but you still taught us through our means, even when it was difficult and probably painful to you. Your determination brought us through our first year. And when you left, it was evidently shown that you had at our best interest unlike other "teachers".

Even it this sounds so stupid, because some may just say you're merely a teacher, I broke down and cried when I heard about your news. I wish I am back in Singapore now, so that I can go to your wake. I am so sorry that I can't see you off. & that I didn't visit you, even when the rest of the class did. I am sorry. Thank you for hanging in there for us. Thank you for everything that you've done for us.

You will be remembered and will be missed greatly. You'll always be the teacher who wins most fashionable award on teachers' day. Your laughter that resounds in my head, will teach me how fun learning can be. Your smile that is like a photographic memory in my head, will teach me that it is possible to smile, even the dark days. The Lord will take care of you now. I can't believe you're not here with us anymore. :(

Counting down

22 days ♥

till the feeling of home is back

Ideal Saturday Morning.

On the way back in the car, my netball team mate who called shotgun asked my another team mate who was driving, "What is your ideal Saturday morning?" She described it along the lines of:  Waking up, knowing that there is no pressure in doing any work, or even knowing that there isn't any work to clear for today. Having breakfast in bed, served by the person you love. And maybe after breakfast, taking a stroll along the beach (St Andrews' beach is said to be one of their best attraction). Then she asked the rest of us in the car, everyone agreed and said their ideal Saturday morning was along that line too.

I sat in the back seat of the car, and started wondering what is my ideal Saturday morning.

My ideal Saturday morning, is waking up at like crazily early timing for me, that I have to drag myself out of bed to get up. Or rather, some other people dragging me out of bed. Or when that particular someone shouts and it is like a signal to my body to immediately get up, or I will get into trouble. That's how I would like to wake up to on my ideal Saturday morning.

Brushing my teeth, doing my hair and using the toilet. Having to queue for the sink, the mirror, the toilet bowl, the comb/brush, the toothpaste (colgate) as I do all these simple daily routine things every morning. Weird isn't it? Having to queue up to even do the simplest things ever. But that's how I would like to get ready for my ideal Saturday morning.

Walking down that flight of stairs to see newspapers in people's hands and the television turned on. But this position doesn't last long, because I am usually the signal to keep the newspaper, turn off the lights, television and fan and head to the main door. Cupboards that stores shoes starts opening and closing with a slam, shoes are thrown on the floor with a little dog being afraid of the sound produced when the shoes touches the ground. Automatically, everyone moves into the car, as though there was some sort of seating arrangement. It was like the "silent rule". This was the "silent seating positions". Off we go, a start to my ideal Saturday morning.

Arrived at some coffee shop, that is simply walking distance from the house, but sure why not drive? Then one whole load of ordering system goes - "Carrot cake. Black or white? Add egg." "Roasted chicken rice. Add roasted pork." "Hokkien mee." And this is my favourite line on a Saturday morning, "Four iced milo, one coffee black and one can of coke (in Chinese/dialect/singlish)." When everything is placed on the table, food starts being transferred and shared around, and eaten, till everyone is well-fed.

With tummies filled, going home was the next thing. Everyone disperse into their individual rooms, but to only start preparing, for the errands that were discussed, probably days or weeks ago. I like errands that requires me to dress up. Dressing up was the fun part, taking ages to decide which clothes to wear, or what matches what. And off we go again, with the car before the afternoon and energy gotten from my wonderful morning breakfast starts to kick in.

This is my ideal Saturday morning. To be back home, leading my life with my family.

It's your freshman year and you're gonna be here for the next four years in this town.

Why can't you go here? It sounds almost exactly the same. :/

Honestly, it's horrible how we're apart. Plus the fact that I don't have an iphone YET, it is so hard to skype or talk to you. It's not that we don't put in the effort to, it's just that we have commitments that are important too. Going shopping on Saturday, was probably the weirdest feeling ever. There was no "Ew desi, that's so aunty." or "That's so you, desi." or "Come on dulcy, desi's taste is weird." from you.

What sucks even more is that I am in a netball team that doesn't have both my sisters at all. It is my first time playing without having our secret ultimate defending skills together. It is my first time playing without you guys giving me death stares on court, but smiling faces outside. It is my first time playing without you guys shouting out my name, and feeling you want to kill me for doing that wrong mistake.

Netball was our thing. Our thing that we enjoyed for the past 10 years of our lives. It is so hard to appreciate it right now.

I wish all of you guys were here. It really makes the whole of us. It brings out the best in us. It doesn't make us feel like there's a damn hole that can't be mended till you're here. I miss random times where you guys just come snuggling into my bed, and somehow we all just fall asleep on one bed, fighting for space.

Maybe I haven't thought this through enough, that maybe I just can't live without you guys. I want us. Not just one person, the whole package. The whole package.

When they say three is a crowd. I say that a crowd of three of us is pretty much damn right awesome.

Lights will guide you home

So near yet so far.
This week is reading week but we still have classes. Today is super super cold with fog and I was wearing the thinnest leggings I've got. Smart move? We just got our reading week's timetable yesterday and we found out that we had Friday off and I end school at 3pm on Thursday! I was really prepared to fly to dublin to find the missing triplet, but the air tickets are really expensive! :(

Oh well! We will leave it till next year when we finished our exams! :):) Or maybe she can come down! Hehehe :D:D Anyway, SKYPE SCREENSHOTS :D Sorry, I know, I don't have quality posts. I can't wait for December to come because we have booked our flights/trains down to London to spend White Christmas together :):) Love you girls.

Love ya bitch face :D